Naraku: The Muffin Man
by TheSadisticAngel
Summary: Naraku is beaten! Now for his punishment...Muffins are involved!
1. Madness

Disclaimer: You know the drill.  
  
Note: Hey everyone! Here is another demented fanfic. by yours truly. This chapter is short, but leads into the second chapter, which leads into the third... So enjoy!  
  
Chapter 1: Ding Dong, Naraku's Beaten...  
  
Inuyasha (irritated): Well, that's it.  
  
Kagome: What now?  
  
Tinsir (waving a fork, and knife in the air, while wearing a lobster bib): We eat him!  
  
Shippo: I'm going to be sick...  
  
Naraku (pinned to the ceiling w/ chopsticks): Don't I have a say in my own demise?  
  
Miroku: No, Lady Tinsir sucked most of your powers, so she has the final word.  
  
Tinsir (licks lips): Yummy.  
  
Miroku: He needs to remove the curse first.  
  
Tinsir: I could....I think...Well, if you remove the curse, I'll let you live.  
  
Miroku (whispering to Inuyasha): The look on her face... He is going to wish he was dead. What is she plotting?  
  
Naraku: Fine. Backtura Neeboy.  
  
Miroku is all better!  
  
Tinsir (lunges at Miroku): YEA! I have a plan. (writes a list of supplies on Kagome's wrist in blood). I need this stuff, would you please get it?  
  
Kagome (grossed out): Uh, yeah...  
  
Inuyasha (to Miroku): That look is back on her face, Monk.  
  
Miroku (scared): I know...  
  
Shippo: I'm frightened.  
  
Kagome: Me too.  
  
Naraku (thinks): Is it possible for someone to strike fear in others more than I?  
  
Tinsir (not listening, sings): Mwahahaha...Do you know the muffin man....  
  
Naraku: Can some one get me down? 


	2. Do You Know the Muffin Man

Disclaimer: Do I really have to type it?!  
  
Note: (sings) I've got a plan! I've got a plan! (stops singing) HALO! Another short chapter... Too bad!  
  
Chapter 2: Do You Know the Muffin Man?  
  
Kagome went to her time, and got what I needed, which utterly confused her. I sent her to the village after that.   
  
Tinsir (under her breath): Now all the men are mine... Where's Sesshomuru?  
  
Miroku: What?  
  
Naraku (in a forest, bound): She says you smell.  
  
Miroku (smacks Naraku with his staff): Shut up foul vermin of evil.  
  
Tinsir (goes to Miroku, and fingers his prayer beads): Be a good boy, and help Kagome.  
  
(Stands up straight, and has hands on hips) Now, everyone listen to me! Inuyasha, put the groceries in Kaede's house, please. Shippo, go make some mushrooms. Kirara, go bury Sango. (Inuyasha, Shippo, and Miroku leave).  
  
Naraku: Oh, goddess.  
  
Tinsir: Sucking up won't save you.  
  
Kirara: Meow.  
  
Tinsir: I think her arm is under some wood. I don't know where the rest of her is though...  
  
Kirara: growl  
  
Tinsir: Yeah, she was a wench. We still owe her a burial though.  
  
Kirara: Meow, grrr...  
  
Tinsir: So what if I killed her? Let's blame it on Naraku (Kirara leaves).  
  
Naraku: That is the last thing I need.  
  
Tinsir: That just leaves you, and me! giggles Now for your costume!  
  
Naraku: Costume? What do you take me for? An imbecile? ... Hey, what are you doing? Get away! Ah.... 


	3. Naraku: The Girl

Disclaimer: Oh alright! I don't own Inuyasha, or any of the related characters! Happy now?  
  
Note: This chapter is longer. Are you happy now too?!  
  
Chapter 3: Naraku, the Girl  
  
Naraku (in a pink dress, and apron): I feel like an imbecile.  
  
Tinsir: giggles You have nice legs. I'll shave them for you! giggles  
  
Naraku: NO! Let me be! Death would have been better!  
  
Tinsir: Awww... I haven't even begun to play yet.  
  
Naraku: S**t.  
  
Tinsir (whips out shaving crème, and a razor.): C'mon hotstuff. Time to get pretty.  
  
Naraku: Nooo!... Hey, that smells good...OW! I'm bleeding! Darn you wench!  
  
Tinsir: Shut up! You are the furry wonder. I'd get less fur off of all of Shippo than one of your legs.   
  
  
  
Naraku: Then stop it.  
  
Tinsir: Huh, the razor is clogged up (rinses it off in a nearby puddle). That's better hums.   
  
Naraku: What mental illness plagues you?!  
  
Tinsir: All kinds. I don't have an attention span, so odd thoughts pop into my head.  
  
Naraku: And you are psychotic enough o fulfill them?  
  
Tinsir: Yep.  
  
Naraku: I see. Can you at least untie me?  
  
Tinsir: Nope, you'll run away.  
  
Naraku: D**n.   
  
Tinsir (shoves liquid soap in his mouth): Potty mouth. This is PG-13!  
  
Naraku (mumbles): Bwtck.  
  
Tinsir (hums): Huh? Oh, can I ask you something?  
  
Naraku (spits): What?  
  
Tinsir (cleans hands, and pulls out a maid costume from my pack): Do you think Miroku will like this?  
  
Naraku: Uh, yes... Sure. It is nice...  
  
Tinsir (puts it back): You're blushing! Do you like it?  
  
Naraku (trying to play cool): Uh, no.  
  
Tinsir: You do! Want to wear it after I'm done with it?  
  
Naraku: I don't like it like that...  
  
Tinsir: Uh, ok. I'm done shaving you. Now for makeup.  
  
Naraku: ?!  
  
Tinsir (gets makeup kit): La-di-da. Hee hee hee.   
  
Naraku: War paint?  
  
Tinsir: Hold still (Hurries up, and is done).  
  
Tinsir: Wa-la! Feudal Japan drag queen!  
  
Naraku: My self confidence is destroyed.  
  
Tinsir: Mwahahahaha! 


End file.
